5 Stress Free Ways To Become A Patient Parent And Avoid Yelling

May 20, 2018

patient parent

I won't blame you if you yell your head off. Sometimes, it's the only way to really blow some steam off. But, as parents, we're always expected to be more patient with our kids.

Patience is a virtue - easier said than done, right? This is a proverbial phrase that's not always applicable to parents. Especially when you feel like the whole world is messing with you - your kid gets trouble in school, a pressing deadline at work, you forgot to buy that one thing your kids ask you, you're welcomed to home to sink full of dishes and to top it all off your youngest is having the tantrums of the year.

My son just turned 2 yesterday. He's now an uncontrollable toddler.  Most of the time he's cute and lovely but, there are times where he really tests our patience as parents. While I don't yell at him (yet), there are times wherein I feel like I want to.

Yelling at kids is no different from physically punishing them. It puts a toll on their confidence and mental well being that may lead to depression or even antisocial behavior. More than that, it's downright scary. But, yelling doesn't necessarily mean that you're a bad parent. It's perfectly normal to lose your patience once in a while. What makes you a good and patient parent is when you try and do something to change this behavior.

How do you really diffuse yourself when your patience is walking on thin ice? Here are ways you can regain control of your temper and stay calm in the middle of chaos:

Drink water

You've probably heard this a million times but, it's important that I reiterate this. Water is an elixir that will not only help you cool down but, will also help regulate your blood pressure. When you lose your patience, you go on autopilot and your blood pressure shoots up. Additionally, a drinking a glass of water will help have more time to think rationally.

Create rules with consequences

Rules are always good and when these rules are fair they keep your kids accountable for their behaviors. Strictly enforce punishments when your child breaks any of them. Punishments don't have to be hard, it could be lesser screen-time for the day or a simple 5-minute time out.

Just make sure that you don't enforce too many rules. Having too many rules to follow and keep up with can be overwhelming for anyone and it's setting them up for failure.

Get the camera

We all have smartphones and it's relatively easy to take a snap and document what your child did. It may not be as funny now but, it's something that you can tell your kids about when they grow up. Most of the challenging problems are always the messiest. Drawing on the walls, scratches on your car, toys scattered all over the house (stepping on a Lego, yikes!) - these are just examples of maddening situations. Instead of getting all worked up about it, document what happened and just charge it to experience.

Find your triggers 

Every human being on the planet has a trigger. Whether it's the dirty dishes in the sink when you come home or the loud crying your kids make when they have tantrums. The best way to really be patient with your kids to know what triggers you most.

When you know what triggers you after a long day at work, you know exactly what to avoid. If you feel that the situation is triggering you, take note of it so that you know how to get a better grip the next time.

Excuse yourself

Finally, if all else fails. Excuse yourself and take a big deep breath. It's alright to feel anger even as a parent, it's a human emotion. Count from 1 to 10 and slowly watch how you breathe. Showing your kids that you have self-control will have a good impact on them.  Exhibiting self-control increases the chances of them eliciting the same behavior when they get older and become the same patient parent.

Practicing Patience

Following these tips will not make you immune from losing your patience. It will still happen because life will get in the way. But, that's just how it is. What's important is you know how to recognize when you've done something terrible. You avoid feeling guilty or terrible because as a patient parent, you know that it'll only make things worse for you and your child. Recommit to becoming a more patient parent every single time. Apologize to your kids to show them that you respect them and their feelings.

So, how do you practice patience with your kids? Tell me about it!

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