Parenting Life Series: Ryan Elnar Of Dad And More

October 17, 2018

Ryan Elnar of Dad and More

Our first featured profile is Ryan Elnar of Dad and More. Parenting Life Series aims to
provide a deeper look into how the parenting world really works and help educate and inspire
other parents through the parenting journey.

Name: Ryan Elnar

Number and Age of Children: 1 at 5 yrs + 1 coming soon

Favorite Parenting Quote: To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives
today. – Barbara Johnson

Short Bio: Ryan Elnar is a proud Filipino daddy blogger. He started Dad and More to share the stories of his journey in raising a family. Ryan believes that beyond formal education, discipline and values are far more important heritage a parent can give to his children.

How would you define your parenting style?

I’d like to think that I am more of a disciplinarian, which I think of what most Filipino dads are.
Some people may not understand this but dads who choose this style, in a way choose to be the
‘bad guy’ in the eyes of their children.

And yes, it is painful for them but someone had to take that role to instill discipline among the
children. Nevertheless, there is a right way of doing this and a balance must be kept.

What values would you want to pass on to your kids?

I have worked for quite a number of organizations and have observed that there are 4 key
factors that helped succeed certain individuals. That would be IQ, EQ, ambition, and discipline.
The belief that in order to be successful, one should have a high IQ, is overstated. As parents,
we can only do so much for their IQ, like providing a good education and all the academic tools
we can give.

I believe that in order for our kids to have a head start in life, it is important that they discover
what would really make them happy, what would excite them to wake up each day, and what
they would enjoy for the rest of his life. The earlier they find out what their ambitions are, the
better as it gives them more than enough time to work on realizing their dreams.

Of course, they must have the discipline to pursue their goals and there is no better way to
teach them the value of hard work other than by doing it yourself and for them to see.

Lastly, teach them to be genuine in all their actions because people will always find out if you
are truly sincere or not. Let them understand that they will never succeed without the help from
the people around them.

What do you enjoy most about being a father?

Being a dad feels like being reborn again. I get the chance to experience some of the things I
enjoyed as a kid. I have an excuse to buy and eat more chocolates and junk foods, watch
animated movies, doodle anything, play water guns, and more. And the best part of it is that, I have someone to enjoy these things with.

How do you encourage a close relationship with your child/children?

Every night, before going to bed, I make sure that we have those small talks to ask my son how
his day was like. I often ask him:

What did you at school? Who did you share your food with? Tell me if you have any problems...
Did you have any fight/misunderstanding with your classmates? Who is your friend?...

It might seem petty or meaningless for us adults, but my hope is that by doing this, it will
develop an open communication between me and Gavin. By the time he gets to his teenage
years, I’d prefer that he would confide his problems /worries to his parents before asking any
advice from his peers.

After all, we’ve been through the same problems once and the solution to them will remain to
be the same no matter how much technology evolves in the coming decades.

What challenges have you encountered as a parent and how did/do you deal with it?

For the past years, we have been programmed that everything should be done fast. It’s not
because of the fast-paced technology. Try to recall some of the things we were taught to do in
the past.

Learn to read fast, write fast, finish the project before the deadline, eat faster, drink your milk

We see any slow action as a waste of time, without realizing that there are actual things in life
that need to be enjoyed. I am guilty of which, as I always tend to keep Gavin in a hurry,
especially during the first few times when I had to teach him his school lessons. For us, it can be
very basic that we lose our patience when it becomes too difficult for our young ones to count
or read simple words.

You see, most of the times, the problems are really more of us than with the young ones.
Gradually, I have learned to take things slow when dealing with my son. I always keep in mind
that I used to be in the same shoes when I had difficulty tying my own laces.

What is the best parenting tip or advice can you give to a new parent?

Spend more time than money with your kids. Someday, you will thank yourself for doing so
knowing that you can only look back at those memories. So, make those memories count for
you and your child.

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