When You're Feeling Left Behind In Life As A Parent

May 07, 2019


We all have those moments in our life wherein we feel that as if we are being left behind in life by our family, friends, and other people we know who we think are living the best versions of their life. We often feel this way when we're on the internet or when we scroll on our social media newsfeed.

I know a lot of people who have started their businesses, have gotten married on dreamy locations, has had a recent promotion at work, bought a new house or car, and backpacked all through Asia. These are also the things you probably see when you follow influencers, bloggers, YouTubers, and other content creators. Situations like these contribute as to why you're feeling left behind in life.

I remember when I first started blogging. More than writing, I had zero experience with content creation. I don't know anyone who blogs, and I'm not familiar with the terms they use, all I know is that I had this feeling and urge to do it and share my parenting journey as a new dad and as a parent.


Personal Struggle


I also struggle with feeling left behind in life, not because I have a child or I've settled down. But, because I was always looking for that something more in my life. I always compare myself with other people's lives, and even now that I've started blogging there is still that constant comparison among some of the people that I know in the industry. 

In 2017, I started reading self-help books and a lot of personal growth articles about motivation, productivity, willpower, and success. I had this crazy idea in my mind about success. But, as I read more books, I realized that nothing is going to change not unless I change my mindset.

What I'm trying to say is that it's easy to fall into that trap of feeling left behind. Everyone experiences this. I know a lot of parents who feel this way about their life. But, you have to know that feeling this way is completely okay and normal.

As they say, life is a marathon, not a sprint. It takes time to build great things, and we all have different pacing. Your friend who just had a new promotion at work and now getting married at a lovely location is at a different part of his life, just like how you are at a different stage in your life. 

Yes, it's true that they look happy, fulfilled, and successful, but you don't really know if that's true. Because like anything else, this is only what you see. There's a bigger story that you don't know.

Each one of us is battling with different kinds of things, and we choose what we share with other people. We only usually share the things that we are not ashamed of. We don't want people to see that we are weak. And this kind of mindset is what makes us feeling left behind. We try and keep up with appearances which leave us feeling not enough and unhappy. 

Having that dreamy wedding on a beach, or having that promotion at work, or going on a family vacation won't make you happy and won't solve your problems. It all has to start with you. You have to accept that feeling this way is okay and accept that but don't let that feeling linger. 

What To Do About It?


I won't tell you to delete Facebook or Instagram from your mobile phones and just avoid social media altogether because I know it's impractical and impossible for most. 

As I mentioned, I also feel this way, and I'm going to share with you the three things I do whenever I feel this way.

1. Reassess My Goals


I keep a simple journal that I write into with my goals and plans. It includes my family plans, financial plans, career plans, and personal growth plans. 

By simply writing things down, I get to see where my priorities are and why I shouldn't feel this way about my life.

2. I Talk About It


When I feel this way, I don't let myself stay in that mindset because it's toxic. What I do is I talk to my girlfriend about it, and I let her know what I'm feeling. I'm lucky because she always says the right things and she reassures me. Talking about it helps get rid of the shame in it and helps you accept this feeling. 

3. I Practice Gratefulness


I think about the things that I have and the things that I have achieved. I become grateful about the relationships I have built over the years and the new ones I've established. I think about my child and how proud I am to call myself a dad. And finally, I think about other people who have a much more severe problem than mine. 

Being grateful helps you become humble and makes you stay grounded.


Takeaway


Start being kind to yourself; don't let your emotions rule you. You are enough as a parent, as a friend, as a wife or husband, and as a person. Celebrate your life and your experiences and try to find joy in other people's success, take pride in the things that you're good at.

I know it's easier said than done. But if you consciously become mindful of this behavior and as you consistently practice being grateful about what you have in your life, you will soon realize that you are living your best life.

Here is the video version of this blog



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